And Butterpea Makes 3

I love when kids get to this age when they say funny stuff all the time.  It’s just adorable.  Yesterday Mamaw tried to teach Mally to say 9-1-1.  She would repeat the 9, but after the 1 she kept saying 2!  Wonder who answers when you dial 9-1-2?

She continues to say “Excuse me” to inanimate objects.  It is just hysterical.  And now she tells them “I sorry” if she bumps into something or drops something.  And she says “I sorry people” when given the chance.  Now her uncles are saying “I sorry people.” 

She says “Uh-oh spaghettio” and “How bout….cuddle with mommy!”  “How bout…go Grammer’s house!”  “Whoopsie Daisy!”

And did I mention her obsession with chapstick?  Pop-pop mails her chapstick about every other week.  And books.  She even knows to say “We don’t eat it.”  Think she’s heard that 100 times? 

Mamaw and Papaw gave Mally a grocery cart and she is pleased as punch.  I am working on felt play food for her for Christmas to go in it.  I can’t wait!  It’s coming along.  There are pop-tarts (ah, Lindly memories! ), strawberries, eggs, bacon, cookies, donuts, etc.  Super fun!

Can’t believe Christmas is coming so soon.  Mally is getting better about Santa.  She was saying “That Santa Claus scary right dere (there).”  But now she is better.  Of course, my mom had to move Oscar, her 3 foot butler guy to a closet.  Mally didn’t even want to go to DeDe’s house if he was there.  She kept saying “DeDe give Oscar away!”

We had a great Thanksgiving.  Planning to be in Dallas for Christmas, but are trying to find a way to do Jackson Christmas Eve.  Of course, that big number 2 is throwing a wrench in our travel plans.  Does anyone know if you have to pay for a plane ticket if your child turns 2 ON the day of your flight?

As I contemplate whether to make that phone call and take the job, which I don’t WANT to have to do, but NEED to do for the sake of our family, I have so many regrets.  I hugely regret not teaching in a public school the 2 years we were here the last time.  That’s about $35k I missed out on.  I regret every meal I have eaten out, every article of clothing I have bought.  Random household purchases, even getting my Masters which cost us $5K or more (with truly little benefit until I have a PhD).  I regret every coke I ever drank.  I could probably stay home with her forever if I had never bought a coke.   Every trip to Ikea, Target, Wal-Mart, I regret.   I feel like I have failed her.  I feel like I have failed Mr. K by not going back to work.  He wants to keep the house (but rented) in Dallas, do the addition to it, buy a house here, get to go places and buy things.  I think it’s truly a gender difference.  I want those things, but would go without every single one of them for the rest of my life to stay home with my baby.  I would drive Zippy, crammed in there, crawling out of my skin from the claustrophobia of it, for 10 more years if it meant staying home with her.  And looking at the math, I will only clear about $1600, so that’s not that much anyway.  December’s check will pay for Christmas and the trip to NYC for Mr. K’s 35th bday.  After that, even if I pay every cent to the credit card it will take…well, I won’t say how long.  Let’s just call it forever.    

Anyways, I am off to take a shower and reflect a few minutes on how my perfect life in 2008 came to be this.  Those were the days.  Mr. K was working for Beck, making good money and loving his job.  I was happily at home with our baby.  We lived in our perfect house, with the best neighbors and friends.  I miss those days so much. But you can’t go back, you can only go forward.  Right?

Well, I got offered a job.  Not just spontaneously…I had applied for it.  I just didn’t expect things to happen quite this fast.  I figured I would apply and then I would go to work after Christmas.  I don’t want to.  Work, that is.  I mean, I love work, it’s just that Mallory is my baby and all that.  I think about my friends and relatives and realize I am really, really lucky to have been able to stay home for this long.  Kyrs, Julie, Kate Scott, Heather, Elizabeth, etc. all went back to work long before this.  So, I shouldn’t complain.  I am just so used to being with her all day, every day. 

So, why go back to work?  Well, with 2 house payments, 2 sets of bills, 2 years of one income, and eventually wanting a second baby, well, 2+2+2+2=get a job.  I am in desperate need for a bigger car.  I love my car.  Really, I do.  I even named it Zippy.  We’re bonded.  But it is way. too. small.  Picture me going back and forth from New Orleans to Dallas, 9 hours, with the baby, all our stuff, and the dog.  Nothing fits in the way back except the dog.  Mally is in the middle, so barely anything fits beside her.  If Mr. K is with me, then there is barely enough room to put our overnight bags in it.  I struggle to get Mally in her carseat because she’s big, but not big enough to get in it “all by ya-self.”  So, new car.  Then we need to look at buying a house here.  No mortgage lender in their right mind would lend us money for a house right now.  We have a house with a mortgage and a rental, tons of debt, a car payment, and student loans that maybe Mr. K will pay off when he’s 100.  So, get a job. 

The plan.  Here’s my plan.  Because if I didn’t have a plan, I couldn’t do it.  I am going to pay one paycheck per month (there are 2) toward the debt.  I will do this until one credit card is paid off (there are 2).  Then I will save a few months and buy a bigger SUV or van.  Never thought I would buy a van, but lots of people love them, so we’ll see.  Then I will start saving for the next baby.  And I will actually have maternity coverage which I don’t have right now.  Then if all goes well, some time when Mally is 3 hopefully she can have a sibling.  If we continued at this rate, I don’t think we would ever have another baby.  And as much as I love the one I have, I would love to have more. 

The upside is I love love love the place I picked for her childcare.  The downside is that I haven’t heard if she will be accepted and she can’t go there until she is 2.  Which leaves me with no childcare for the next month.  Did I mention they want me to start, like, today???????  I am putting them off to buy some time with Mally.  Shooting for next week, wishing for after Thanksgiving.  Of course, the sooner I go, the sooner I get paid.  Getting paid before Christmas could be nice.

There are a few other downsides besides missing Mally all day.  It’s going to mean more time in the car.  The drive to the day care then to school and back will be probably an hour and a half of driving every day.  Of course, I am driving 40 minutes a day now to take Mr. K to work every day and save the $8 a day in parking fees.

The upside is that it’s kindergarten.  I like kinder.  It was probably second hardest to 6th grade, but I did like it.  This will be a class that needs to be created because the other classes are too full.  They will pull a few kids from every room.  The room itself is huge but EMPTY.  No play kitchen, no blocks, no puzzles, no books, no nothing.  There are huge desks and metal folding chairs.  Yikes!  I would have one day to set it up and then teach the next day.  I think that is insane.  I had 2 days the last time I taught kinder and I cried thru the first day at the mere thought of getting it done in 2 days.  But I have decided not to let that part stress me out.  I get done what gets done and that’s it.  I prefer to do it surrounding the weekend so that I can have 3 days at least, but we’ll see.  Of course, I would have Mally with me over the weekend, but that’s ok.  Mr. K has a major deadline.

So, I will keep you posted on whether or not I take a job.  For now, I am going to put on some going-to-the-playground clothes.